JUST A CABBAGE AWAY // A FILM REVIEW OF "PATCH TOWN"

BY MATEO MORENO

Have you ever wondered where Cabbage Patch babies come from? Whether that Cabbage Patch is real somewhere, churning out doll after doll for children everywhere? Ever get the feeling that there's something slightly sinister about it? Well.... I haven't either but I'm thankful there's a crew of Canadian filmmakers who did, and they created a short film about it, which has now been made into the feature PATCH TOWN. Part fantasia, part musical, part satire. It's certainly an original journey that you haven't taken before.

Part Tim Burton by way of Terry Gilliam, we set our sights on Patch Enterprises, a company that extracts babies from cabbages and turns them into dolls to be sold to little girls across the world. Jon (Rob Ramsay) is a childlike factory worker at Patch who longs, along with his wife Mary (Stephanie Pitsiladis), so he sneaks one home and they lovingly raise it as their own. But this is forbidden (along with singing and general happiness or smiling at the factory), and they come under the watch of his evil supervisor, The Child Catcher (Julian Richings) who hunts them down with the help of his pint size henchman Kenny (Ken Hall). Knowing that he has something in common with these cabbage born babies, he goes on the run with his wife and child in search of his real mother (Zoie Palmer), and to get some answers.

This bizarre concept and imaginary world is what makes PATCHTOWN fly, along with hilarious and spirited performances by the entire cast. Especially noteworthy is Rob Ramsay as the cheery, portly hero. His singing voice is lovely, and his presence on screen is especially strong. You consistently root for him to get the upper hand. As the villains, Jilian Richings and Ken Hall are superb. Richings is perfectly cast, creepy and menacing, while Hall is hilarious with each and every turn. The visuals are strong and the songs are especially tuneful, making me wish the songs were a bit longer. That's a minor quibble in this wholly original, sweet, and strange riff on the Cabbage Patch brand. Take a trip to PATCHTOWN and be ready for a truly unique experience. You'll be glad you did.

MATEO'S GRADE: A-

Written by Christopher Bond, Craig Goodwill, & Trevor Martin Based on the short film written by Craig Good & Catherine Gourdier Directed by Craig Goodwill Starring Rob Ramsay, Julian Richings, Zoie Palmer, Ken Hall, Suresh John, Alan C. Peterson, Kayla DiVenere.

MATEO MORENO recently won a bet on who could hold their breath the longest underwater. He won the bet, having beat local loudmouth Jimmy "Thunderbird" Thomas with a record breaking "fourteen minutes." True, part of that time was him unconscious and the other part was him being revived, but he still counts it, and is now $20 richer. Take THAT Thunderbird! He currently lives in Brooklyn, New York.