BAD MOVIE? GUILTY PLEASURE? BOTH? // A FILM REVIEW OF "50 SHADES OF GREY"

BY CHRISENA RICCI

I admit it. I saw 50 SHADES OF GREY this past weekend. Feminist groups call Christian Grey ‘abusive’. Christian groups call the film ‘pornographic’. And my mother simply referred to it as ‘the film that shall not be named’. I think it’s simply a bad film, with a lot of hype.

After guiltily reading all three of the 50 shades books on my Nook, I was curious as to how well it would adapt into anything suitable for a movie theatre. When I heard the soundtrack I was actually excited to see the flick. That was my main problem right there, I allowed myself to get my hopes up that a mediocre book series could be in anyway improved by a screen adaptation. One of my main problems with the books was that everything moved too slowly. Too much time gets wasted on repetitive self- doubt. Most of the time, I really miss the inner dialogue of the main character when it transitions from book to film. Not this time. For some unknown reason, the monotonous turmoil of Miss Anastasia Steele is all kept intact. They don’t even finish the first film in line with the ending of the first book. When the credits started rolling, I joined in the chorus of “What? Is that IT?” that was being shouted from around me. It was excruciatingly slow, and even at a glacial pace, it still somehow managed to end abruptly.

Now for some of the uncomfortable things that the film felt was necessary. There was a lot of body hair. Like, A LOT. Now I’m all for everyone grooming to whatever extent they wish, but this was, overwhelming. In the first steamy scene, it is apparent that Ana doesn’t shave her legs, ever. I went to a women’s college, and I am all about women doing what makes them happy with their leg hair. Braid it for all I care. However, in the books, Ana is not portrayed as the hairy feminist, or the lazy-with-a-razor  kind of lady. She’s just a regular kind of a girl. She may be a virgin, but that doesn’t mean she doesn’t shave her legs. And by unshaved legs, I’m talking multiple inches long, highlighted by being captured in a shadowy silhouette. The audience’s involuntary and collective “ew” was actually laughable.

I spent most of my time laughing through this movie. The script was ridiculous and the “explicit sex” scenes were embarrassing for all the wrong reasons. I did really like the music selections that were playing throughout the entire film, and I thought the costumes were pretty fantastic. Although, it is pretty hard to mess up a soundtrack featuring an exclusive Beyoncé track and wardrobe made up mainly of nudity and gray neckties.

The addition of Ana’s parents was a surprising and welcome addition to the film. In the books, Ana is basically an orphan who has a pretty crappy "brother" in Jose and "sister" in Kate. It makes her situation with Christian seem more isolating and creepy. But in the film, Ana has a good relationship with her mother, whom she goes to visit. She is supported and loved without Christian, and I really appreciated that change. I also like that Ana is portrayed as both strong and intelligent when negotiating the Sub/Dom contract. The film does a good job of giving her a little bit more back bone and making her a lot more likeable than in the books.

I’m sure I will gladly see the second movie. I really did enjoy the chemistry between Ana and Christian, and I think the actors did a good job with an atrocious script. I found this film entertaining. It didn’t expand my mind, or provoke any interesting thoughts. But I had fun. I treated myself to a shameless amount of Jamie Dornan’s abs and movie theatre popcorn. It was the perfect girl’s night out.

CHRISENA'S GRADE: D-

Directed By Sam Taylor-Johnson Screenplay By Kelly Marcel Based on the novel by E.L. James Starring Dakota Johnson, Jamie Dornan, Jennifer Ehle, Eloise Mumford, Victor Rasuk, Luke Grimes and Marcia Gay Harden

FINAL THOUGHTS: It isn’t a good movie, but I sure had fun watching it.

CHRISENA RICCI once went to a costume party dressed in an all black dress and black wig. No one there could guess who she was. So she shouted out, "I'm Christina Ricci, without the T or I and add an E!" Everyone stood there confused, she was annoyed, so she stormed off. She never returned to that apartment ever again. Which is fine, because she later realized she was at the wrong party. She now lives in New York City.