IT'S CLOBBERING TIME // A FILM REVIEW OF "FANTASTIC FOUR"

BY MATEO MORENO

First thing first: The new reboot of Marvel's FANTASTIC FOUR is not nearly as bad as all of the articles popping up everywhere would have you think. Now, that's not to say it's a good film, or even really an enjoyable one. There are fragments of a more substantial, evenly made film sprinkled throughout. There are hints of an interesting plot. But this is most definitely a Frankenstein film, pieced together from this version and that version. You can feel the moments where it spiraled out of control, where the studio took over and started making it more generic. This past Saturday, director Josh Trank himself tweeted his displeasure of the film, saying there was a much more "interesting" film in the can a year ago. He quickly deleted it, and then 20th Century Fox, to paraphrase an iconic phrase, clobbered him. They revealed the fractured set life, rebuilding multiple sets, how the studio was unhappy, diva like behavior from the director himself, and that he was essentially fired from the film. So there is now two threads of thought: That the studio had been protecting Trank up until now and finally had enough, revealing what a screw up he apparently was. Or Trank did indeed have his vision wrestled away from him, and that there was a better film somewhere buried underneath. Or maybe there's a third train of thought: there was never a good version of this film and it was destined to be worse that laughably bad, something the last two films definitely were. It was destined to be substantially mediocre. (WARNING: SNARK AHEAD)

Miles Teller plays Reed Richards, a genius from grade school and up. When he, along with help from his buddy Ben Grimm (Jamie Bell), create an interdimensional portal, the teacher running the fare (his science teacher from grade school played by Dan Castellaneta, i.e. Homer Simpson because apparently there is only one teacher from Grade School to High School) who's running disqualifies them for resorting to "magic tricks." Perhaps he didn't see where something disappeared and then rea-frickin-ppeared before their eyes. Or maybe he's just a dick. Or a terrible science teacher. Or blind. Or all three. Disqualified they may be, but Dr. Franklin Storm (Reg E Cathey) of the Baxter Foundation witnesses it, along with his daughter Sue Storm (Kate Mara) and gives Reed a scholarship. And he gives Ben...well, nothing. Not even a participation ribbon. Oh well. At least he has his dick of a brother to go home to, who apparently is the person who first said, "It's Clobbering Time" while beating the shit out of Ben (Face. To. Palm.).

After that we go into a lot of scientific work. A LOT OF IT. In a dark building with nothing interesting to look at. In fact, we rarely leave this building for the rest of the film, except to go to a badly CGI'd world. Eventually, Reed and Sue team up with the former Baxter Foundation student, the now extremely sullen Victor Von Doom (Toby Kebbell, who gets his soon to be name when Sue says to him, "Look at Doctor Doom over here..." Uggghhhh) and her brother Johnny Storm (Michael B. Jordan) to do a little interdimensional travel - TO THE NEGATIVE ZONE. Reed brings his buddy Ben along, because he needs someone to become The Thing he trusts him and wants his oldest friend by his side. Sue Storm decides to stay behind, because she's a girl, and the boys go do what boys do best: screw stuff up. The trip goes horribly bad and Reed, Johnny, and Ben return highly affected by their trip. Victor doesn't make it back but spends the next year remembering how much he hates his old kind-of-but-not-really "friends." And since Sue is sitting at the computer when they get back, a blast hits her and affects her too. Um, okay. Now Reed can bend himself to crazy lengths (literally), Johnny can turn into a living Human Torch, Sue can become Invisible and send energy bursts, and Ben is disfigured as a living rock-man. Everyone deals with this differently, but none as bad as Reed, who gets the hell out of dodge and leaves his friends behind. Classic Reed. He’ll never learn.

We then cut to a year later or so and Sue, Johnny, and Ben are now The Invisible Woman, The Human Torch, and The Thing (though I don't think they're ever called by their monikers). They work for the government now and have been honing their skills for the past year. Victor returns from that shitty ass CGI'd world he got stuck in and is crazy psycho now (at least he's finally emitting emotions). He wants to destroy the world. So Reed returns (we find out he's been trying to find a way to rescue Ben all this time. I would have suggested to, you know, go back to the building that you left him in, but that's just me) and the four of them go after him as a team for the first time. Speaking of first time, the final act of the film is really the first time we see "Action" in this film. That's right, this is an Action film largely without any Action. You know that awesome scene in the trailer with The Thing dropping from a plane in the sky and landing down below to kick ass? Yeah that's not in the movie anymore. Actually, A LOT of things aren't in the movie anymore that once were, and you feel it. There's been reports of reshoots, rewriting, and lots of backstage drama ever since it went into production, and it's all very visible once you see the film. Early on, Marvel Comics distanced themselves from the project, discontinuing their FF comic, stopping productions on all toys, and in the recent comic book "Punisher #14" they even had a sequence where they blow up actors starring in a FF movie who looked A LOT like this cast (seriously, they did. It's hilarious. Google it)". Scenes jump wildly through various styles and what starts as a character piece quickly loses all forms of character development in favor of... nothing much. Certainly not more action. Until the very end where a third act from an entirely different, action packed, badly written and badly CGI'd Fantastic Four appears. Teller's facial hair appears and disappears from scene to scene, Mara's hair goes from different shades to different styles to obvious wigs, Ben disappears from most of the movie, Johnny has ZERO of his famous "snark" from the comics (as you can tell, I'm a fan of snark in the right moment), and there is almost zero chemistry between anyone. Doom is suddenly Magneto and Professor X (he can basically do anything except have a cool looking costume). And not a trace of anyone actually having fun.

I don't blame the actors. Well, most of them. Toby Kebbell is literally the WORST Doctor Doom choice ever. You could have cast Toby Keith and it probably would have turned out better. He has no danger to his characterization at all and is more of a mawkish dickhead than a fearsome villain. But Teller, Mara, Jordan, and Bell are all very good actors, and you can see them trying to swim as fast as their feet can paddle, but to no use. So who's to blame for the mess that now represents this reboot? Many other websites and magazines have commented on things that were cut and reshot, which starts to explain what might have happened (There's a great view of several of them HERE, courtesy of ScreenCrush). However, unless Trank is allowed to recut HIS vision of the film, we may never really know how much was on him and how much was the studio takeover. And let's be honest; he's NEVER going to be able to do that. Ah, well, at least Doom didn't turn out to be Victor Domashev, a blogger, as Toby Kebbell mentioned in an interview early on and immediately got flamed by the entirety of the Internet. And The Human Torch and The Thing do look pretty dope. Now, the only thing that remains crystal clear is this: FOX has now had three attempts to make this franchise happen, and they've failed three times. They're done. They won't be making another solo adventure or their "kind of in the works" Fantastic Four VS X-Men movie. The rights to these characters need to go back to Marvel Studios ASAP, back into hands that can lovingly make the "correct version" of the FF. Probably not in a solo movie, but perhaps in co-starring roles or cameos (Infinity War anyone?) or in a Netflix series, where they can take their time and flesh out Marvel's first family. And recast Doom. They'll probably recast everyone, but don't forget to recast Doom.

Also, recast Doom.

MATEO'S GRADE: D+

Based on the comics created by Stan Lee & Jack Kirby Written by Jeremy Slater, Simon Kinberg, & Josh Trank Directed by Josh Trank Starring: Miles Teller, Kate Mara, Michael B. Jordan, Jamie Bell, Toby Kebbell, Reg E. Cathey, Tim Blake Nelson Now Showing in Theatres Nationwide

MATEO MORENO  recently won a bet on who could hold their breath the longest underwater. He won the bet, having beat local loudmouth Jimmy "Thunderbird" Thomas with a record breaking "fourteen minutes." True, part of that time was him unconscious and the other part was him being revived, but he still counts it, and is now $20 richer. Take THAT Thunderbird! He currently lives in Brooklyn, New York.

NYFF52 REVIEW: WHIPLASH

BY MATEO MORENO

Meet Andrew Neyman. He's 19 years old. A truly gifted drummer, he's currently attending one of the top music convervatories on the East Coast. He has a supportive father and is striving to be "one of the greats." One of the sure ways to help get him there is to get noticed by the drill instructor of a teacher Terrence Fletcher. He has the ability to launch musicians into stardom, or squash them like a bug. So comes Andrew, the soft spoken boy with big dreams, ready to pounce them. Unbeknownst to him, those dreams are about to pounce him. This is WHIPLASH.

Writer/Director Damien Chazelle had originally shot a few of the scenes from his feature screenplay and made it into a short. It won top honors at the 2013 Sundance Film Festival and he then was able to shoot the entire thing. And thank the Sundance Gods for that. Miles Teller (The Spectacular Now, Divergent) plays Andrew Neyman with a simmering intensity that is sure to schedule his breakout moment this year. Side by side with an exploding energy is J.K. Simmons as the fire breathing conductor Terrence Fletcher that Neyman is so eager to please. Neyman wants to be one of the greats and Fletcher sees the talent and possible drive that lays in him. So he plucks him into his studio jazz band and thus begins a twisted set of intense mind games alternating with support for the boy, pushing him down much more than he's pulling him up, verbally abusive, and at one point even physically abusive. Why doesn't anyone say anything? Stand up to him? Because he's considered a legend, a true starmaker, and everyone wants their moment to shine. So when Fletcher hurls a chair at Andrew's head? He ducks and plays harder, until his fingers literally bleed. Bringing some light into his life is the young girl of his affection, Glee's Melissa Benoist. She works at the local theatre where Andrew and his father (a quietly moving Paul Reiser) frequent and may be his one token of happiness in the most intense year of his life. But everything must crash down before you can build it back up. That is, if you can build it back up.

Never have I seen a film set in the world of music with this much intensity. Chazelle brilliantly plays it more like a psychological thriller set in the intense world of climbing the music ladder. Teller is bristling with emotion and his performance drives this powerful piece from start to finish. J.K. Simmons is nothing short of a revelation. His performance is intense, grueling, and everyone can agree award worthy. As he throws derogatory and homophobic comments at his students he also drives them. But where's the line? Does the line matter as long as you make it past it? "There are no two words more harmful than 'good job,'" states the masochistic coach, furthering his own opinion that there is no good, only great. Luckily for us, this gifted writer/director has graced us not with a "good, but a great, great film." Buckle in, and prepare to be Whiplashed.

VERDICT: A MUST SEE

Written and Directed by Damien Chazelle  Starring Miles Teller, J.K. Simmons, Melissa Benoist, Paul Reiser, Austin Stowell. CONTENT ADVISORY: Adult Language, Mild Violence

BOTTOM LINE: Not to beat around the bush, WHIPLASH is fucking great. 

IT'S YOUR MOMENT // A FILM REVIEW OF "THE SPECTACULAR NOW"

BY MATEO MORENO

The hardships of youth, the sweetness of first love, and the honesty of heartbreak have rarely been told with such raw honesty than by a man named John Hughes.  There’s a reason his films have endured over the years.  Teens today still relate to the misfits of The Breakfast Club or any one of the famed roles Molly Ringwald brought to life.  Hell, I still fantasize that the girl of my dreams is going to be my tomboy best friend who plays drums and wears my future on her ears.  Last year Stephen Chbosky’s wonderful The Perks of Being a Wallflower came closest to nailing that perfect tone that Hughes knew so well.  And now we have THE SPECTACULAR NOW, a new film that not only transcends that time in our lives but captures it completely with an honesty not seen since Lloyd Dobler, his pen, and that famed boombox.  World, meet Sutter Keeley.

Miles Teller (21 and Over) plays Sutter, a high school kid who’s the life of literally every party, along with his girlfriend Cassidy (Brie Larson of The United States of Tara).  He drinks too much and cares about too little, yet his heart is huge.  However, much like a speeding rocket hurtling towards the earth, the fun loving couple break up and Sutter ends up drunkenly on a lawn without a clue as to how he got there.  Luckily for him, there’s a pretty girl waiting for his as he opens his eyes.  Aimee Finecky (Oscar nominee Shailene Woodley) is a good girl; gets good grades, has her future mapped out for her.  She’s a bit of a wallflower and loves science fiction novels.  Though the “now obsessed” Sutter and “future planning” Aimee may not have much in common on the surface, the two find each other exactly when they need to, and so begins their story, a story much like our own memories.  It’s filled with swelling emotions, high school “games,” far too much drinking, and bold and selfish mistakes.  In other words: high school.

Yes it is indeed a story of two high school kids, this is by no means a movie just for kids.  Writers Scott Neustadter and Michael H. Weber have adapted Tim Tharps bittersweet novel into the best coming of age movie in decades.  The dialogue is fresh and often heartbreakingly honest and sweet.  James Ponsoldt (Smashed) directs the proceedings with such a deft touch that you’d swear sometimes we are literally peaking into the life of real teenagers in the here and now.  Miles Teller truly creates a star making performance here, bringing you in to sympathize with Sutter even as he does terribly selfish things.  Each time he takes another drink you fear for what is coming next, yet you still root for him.  He adds the warmth needed to every scene, and the chemistry between him and Aimee is wonderful.  Woodley nails yet another performance (much different than her star making turn in The Decendents) and bring a shimmering energy and honesty to a lovingly naive character.  Watching their love bloom is quite wonderful, and watching the sure to be heartache hurts even more so.  I won’t spoil the film for you here, as there as so many fantastic moments for you to see for yourself so please do exactly that.  Spend a morning, an afternoon, or an evening with The Spectacular Now.  It just may be, much like high school, one of the best times of your life.

MATEO'S GRADE: A

Directed by James Ponsoldt Based on the novel by Tim Tharp  Screenplay by Scott Neustadter and Michael H. Weber  Starring Miles Teller, Shailene Woodley, Brie Larson, Masam Holden, Dayo Okeniyi, Jennifer Jason Leigh, Kyle Chandler, Nicci Faires, Mary Elizabeth Winstead, Bob Odenkirk, Andre Royo.  Rated R for Sexual Content, Adult Language, Brief Nudity  NOW IN THEATRICAL LIMITED RELEASE

BOTTOM LINE: Much like the title, it's Spectacular.